Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
