haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I deserve this hangover.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize