Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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