so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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