talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
