smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
