Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize