you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
