Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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