mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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