he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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