and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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