Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
