im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
