Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize