My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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