I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
