There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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