The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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