im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
