i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
