dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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