i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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