so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
