god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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