I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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