Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
