i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
