Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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