Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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