Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
