lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
