its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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