do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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