If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
