I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
