You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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