Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
