Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That's intense
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
