Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
