I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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