Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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