is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
