I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
