I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
