i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
