The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
