i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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