FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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