Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
