So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
