i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
