We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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