Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize