addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
