she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
