I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
