That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize