Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize