i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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