You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
